insecurime

phone call.
nice dinner in 48 hours.
nice talk.
sweet nothings.
then a wrong mention.
rolled.
snowballed.
and it melted in a mess.

now i'm so in a sorry state.
mich's angry.
nothing else matters more.
i miss her smile.
but i still deserve that.
sorry.
sorries.

guess i brought it upon myself.
lesson learnt.
monday.....bluest?
maybe....suppose to start fine like all weeks.
but my great study cum bitching mate's got herself a mate.
and so is my fellow red lover.

sighs.
alone in the library.
so alone.
awaiting for mich's message to vibrate my freezing ass.
no, it didn't come.
sighs.
multiple sighs.
couples frolick in full view.
she came online, and blasted her feel.
i'm so broken.
i wanna cut the holes out of me.
but i just can't.
i just wanna mend them now...

come mich. read this and i just wanna say sorry.
brain's pretty slow and numb.
discussion over lunch about a impending death of a friend ain';t helping.
Lord. come hold me.
please.

meanwhile, Tanya sings, her sweet voice and momentedness it brings.
library's such a cold place sometimes.

but thank God, there's ryan. so its kopi time later. been awhile.
and i realise some stuff:
gotta work it to earn it.
self-respect maybe.

-OUT-