seems like so long since I leaked here. too long I say.
but hey, it takes only so much to jade me. the constant drones from work. the endless emails streaming in. the misplaced heart-tugs i have to fight back. and the twirls and whirls of in-house storms.
add some busy long days at work and you have a jaded me. stoned. can't write, can't get in the mood to read. and just plain, staring into space sometimes. but some smiles from the few special people in my universe just exert the all mighty force to pull me back from the event horizon of the blackhole state of mind. a state where suicide seems sweet. an endless journey we all face, back and forth towards this end.
Mich's been strong, and I try to be there for her.
some storms brewing, and it exploded last night. a powerful one. without sense and purpose. like many things in the world.
awhile more and I'd be heading north, too a hellish place, to be fed into the fires of the directors and presidents - royalties of some customer. I pray my fingers survives...so i can pinch shut the arteries in my neck after i'm beheaded. so I won't bleed too much. optimistic ain't I?
i wish for (10mins pause), joy.
angels come sing for me...
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